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Keywords:

• 01. like what do you do with girlfriends

Comment: buy her dinner and just like leave?

Keywords:

• 02. i feel awful

Comment: the bartender added me on facebook

Description: and there's chips all over the bathroom floor

Keywords:

• 03. I knew it was you who came home last

Comment: night because no one else would walk in at 3am

Description: and start microwaving a burrito

Keywords:

• 04. anyways do you want to make more

Comment: embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you

Description: about later and laugh about?

Keywords:

• 05. if you ever insult pizza rolls again

Comment: i will dragon kick you in the throat

Keywords:

• 06. walk of shame. i'm wearing my rain

Comment: jacket over my dragon costume

Description: my tail keeps dragging in the rain

Keywords:

• 07. i let her practice tattooing on me

Comment: this shaky dragon on my arm says i'm getting laid

Keywords:

• 08. all I want to do is stay up

Comment: drink wine and look at dragons

Keywords:

• 09. on a scale of 1 to 10

Comment: how concerned should i be

Keywords:

• 10. imagine dragons

Comment: ok now what

Keywords:

• 11. you know its bad

Comment: when you need sunglasses to open the fridge

Keywords:

• 12. i think i fucked up my elbow

Comment: when i tried to fight off the paramedics

Keywords:

• 13. you just sent me a picture

Comment: of a federal crime. like.

Description: you don't give a fuck.

Keywords:

• 14. you jumped off the couch and yelled

Comment: "CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON!"

Description: that's the answer to how you broke your finger

Keywords:

• 15. i puked last night after eating

Comment: a volcano taco and drinking vodka.

Description: i felt like a fucking dragon